he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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