I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
