i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
