dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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