They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
