I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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