I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
