An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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