You're so nebulous sometimes
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
