im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
cat food counts as protein by the way
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
