did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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