porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
