It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
