I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
