Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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