Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
