Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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