That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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