took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
