i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
