haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
