What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
