YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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