you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
