Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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