D3 body, D1 cock
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just pee around me
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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