Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
