I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
