yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i drank out of a bidet.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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