Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
