its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
