You can't special order awesome
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
