i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It's blow job season.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
