He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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