I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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