Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He? As in you personified your dick?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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