guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
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