Kiss
Puke
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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