dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
