I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
