i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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