I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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