This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
