Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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