singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
