you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
