Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
we should paint friendship bongs
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