It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
