If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He has the fingertips of a God
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
