He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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