I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
