his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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